Wednesday, February 18, 2009

I learn Italian, is possible?

I have to admit, the culture shock here is pretty nonexistent. It might be because I've been to Europe before, but I think it has more to do with the fact that Europe is ultimately still a part of the western world and therefore not really very different from the US. Speaking the language though, is a totally different issue. I figured I should share a couple of stupid mishaps, or at least some that I remember.

So one of the first days of the program, the entire group went out for lunch together, led by the fabulous Maria Pia (one of the program directors, wearer of silly pink-tinted glasses, and quite possibly the cutest person ever) and the rest of the Padova staff. The restaurant provided us with multiple courses (yum!) unlimited wine (even better!) and a gigantic cake with an American flag on it. They were oh-so-pleased to present the cake especially...which unfortunately looked a lot better than it tasted. Anyway, I tried to tell my host mother during dinner about this spectacular lunch and said "Abbiamo mangiato una torta con una banda americana!" Our host family looked at me very strangely and then started miming flute-playing and repeating "Una banda?" Finally, my host mother said "Una bandiera?" Oops. I had been telling them that we had eaten a cake with an American marching band, instead of with a flag on it. Though they were momentarily impressed that the restaurant brought out musical accompaniment for our meal, I will never confuse banda and bandiera again!

I have also many times used "pesce" when I mean "pesca". It is completely unfair, in my opinion, that the words "fish" and "peach" are so dangerously close in pronunciation. I'm sick of asking for a "te pesce" and then realizing after the waiter gives me a strange smile that I just requested "fish tea". Gross!

Also, I have this horrible habit of conjugating everything in the past tense. Awful. It leads to sentences that would be translated in English to mean: "We ate this pizza now?" So embarrassing.

A bunch of us on the program have started to think a lot about how we sound to Italians with our crappy attempts at their language. It's adorable when the Italians speak in English to us, even when it sounds a bit funny. Put two and two together though, and you realize that YOU probably sound the same to them in their native language.

My friend Becky got a text message from some guy who was very excited to get her number at the discoteca (Italian nightclub) which read something like "I see you soon again and gives you kiss, is possible?" Unfortunately I can't recreate Becky's impression, which really makes it ten times funnier, but as a result we've now taken to texting each other in this broken English (more to make fun of how we must sound in Italian).

On Saturday morning, a text messaging conversation between Becky and I about a trip to Parma went as follows:

Me: you make train to parma?

Becky: we make yes and train change in bologna. we see yous soon yes?

Me: we not makes train and also has no computers for today. conundrum!

Becky: aye no! we call on our way home? or if you decides to come you call?

Me: we not frets now. christina help us retrieve possessions and is possible we see you later? we hope you has fun and lots of cheese!

Becky: much thanks! we see us more later!

Luckily, Italians (at least in Padova) are very receptive and even excited that we are trying to learn the language. Becky had a store owner in a camera shop clap and say "Brava!" for her when she used the future tense correctly in a sentence. It's so funny though, because no one would dare do that in the states to a foreigner trying to speak English. it might come off as condescending, whereas here it's just...encouraging?

We've learned not to be misled by their encouragement though, so that we don't start thinking our Italian skills are better than they actually are. We've gotten at least one honest comment to keep us humbly aware that we're still learning. One of our favorite bars is the Cantina del Gufo, a little underground place near one of the piazzas where the bartender, Mickey, is wonderfully friendly and makes killer mojitos. One night we were talking with him and he said "I know these people in Italy say 'Oh yes, your Italian is so good!' but don't listen to them. I am sorry, but your Italian is shit." HAH! He quickly-and genuinely-followed it up with "You will get better though, don't worry." Brutally honest, but it's part of why we love Mickey. He tells it like it is.

Who knows, by the end of the trip we might actually be able to converse in Italian without confusing "fish" and "peach". Is possible?

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